|little girl (in reference to me):||that boy's wearing pink shoes.|
|mother:||yes he is.|
|little girl:||but boys don't wear pink shoes!|
|mother:||well that one does.|
|a little girl's gender assumptions were crushed today.|
I met Alec when he was 3 years old. I was coming over to babysit – I had met some of Alec’s parents (4 of the 7 of them) at a polyamory event. Seven parents, all over the gender and sexuality spectrum. Eleven children, ages five months through 12 years. Two big houses. Alec was the only kid in the living room when I knocked. He full on bounded toward the door. (…)
“Hey, Andy, do you use boy words or girl words, or the other words but I can’t really ‘amember them?”
I looked curiously at his mom, Amelia, who was busy tiding up the table.
“Oh,” she said, “he can’t remember the word pronouns.”
“Ah,” it clicked, “I use boy words. What about you?”
“I use boy words, too. Do you like legos?”
“Of course I do!” (…)
I later learned that the kids asked this question of almost any adult who walked into the house, regardless of their gender presentation. They had learned that momma’s friend, who may have long blonde hair and big boobs and be wearing a pink dress, might not use the pronouns she/her/hers. The older kids even occasionally asked a person they knew again if their appearance had changed drastically since they last saw them.
These were kids who Got It.
(this is just an extract; read the whole post here)
So at work the other day, I was reading a post from Michael Monet’s blog (read it! he is an incredible writer), and came across these lines:
And I knew I didn’t belong on either side.
I knew this not because I was mentally disturbed but because I thought with clarity for the first time in my life. I saw everyone for what they were and I knew I could never, ever be a man. Nor could I be a woman.
I got stuck there for a while. I re-read them several times over, all the while sensing something dark rushing forth in the pit of me. And then I walked (outwardly) calmly to the most isolated bathroom I could find, locked myself in the worst-lit stall, and cried hard, silently, with my whole body, for about ten minutes.
And then started writing this.
Lately I’ve been pushing myself to give voice to the shit that really scares me, because it’s where authentic writing comes from. This is one of the results. I warn you in advance that this was difficult as hell for me to write, and will probably make for an intense read. (It’s also pretty damn long, hence the cut tag.) With that disclaimer, let’s proceed.
read the whole post. i am proud to have this person in my life. the insight, the intelligence, the beauty, & total courage they possess give me life.
Our current project Reteaching Gender & Sexuality is a message about queer youth action and resilience. The video was generated to contribute additional queer/trans youth voices to the national conversations about queer/trans youth lives. Reteaching Gender & Sexuality intends to steer the conversation beyond the symptom of bullying, to consider systemic issues and deeper beliefs about gender and sexuality that impact queer youth. We invite you to share the video with your friends, family and networks…
for more about the project, the full length documentary, or to check out their resources, go to putthisonthemap.org!
You rock, kids!
I’m not interested in my community just surviving. I want us to be thriving!
hell. yes. liberation is the goal. the key. the everything.
My MEChA de UCI presentation
“Gender Identity, Sexuality, Neo-colonialism, Indigeneity, Progressive Education, & the Nation-state: Identifying the Terms ‘male, female, and queer’ as Colonial Identities on Neo-colonized Bodies in Diaspora”
i blew up the students’ minds and amazed professors even though i called them out on their own research on race/ethnicity, gender, and sexuality… (read on)
Neat title. I’d love to read that presentation (or better, to have heard it).
This sounds like my dream read. Please please please make this available SOMEWHERE!!!